Exploring Patience: Yoga and Life
Why did I start exploring patience?
Well, the other day I was aggressively moving into a balance posture that I can do but not with ease and stability, that is certain! My breath was getting short and I just felt like I was pushing into the pose instead of letting it happen. I found that I tend to rush forward and work on the next hardest posture or push my body into new places instead of being more curious in the place I am in. Patience was something I needed to invest some time in.
I see all these beautiful posts online of asanas that are gorgeous. And I think to myself, I want to do that too…duh. Enter my ego. It jumps in and convinces me that I must get in those postures, now. Like today. That kind of ridiculous urgency that only the ego can drive us into.
“A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.” ― Henri J.M. Nouwen
With inspiration from quotes like the one above, books that I am reading, my practice at Island Yoga, meditation, and journaling, I consciously decided to embrace and explore patience. I wanted to explore it in both my yoga practice and life.
Patience in Yoga
In asana, I am honing my focus on where I am grounded, how I am grounded, and the parts of the body that make each pose stable. I am spending more time questioning, testing stillness and movements, and visualizing the breaths path and how it touches so many parts of the body in each cycle. I am finding new space. I am finding ease. I am finding focus.
For example, the other day I found some untouched points in my feet trying to ground themselves, but not making it. And then I stayed there. I tried a few adjustments with the breath, some movements and over a bit of time I was grounded. I was stable. This just kept happening pose after pose, getting little nuggets here and there that I have previously missed out on. It felt so incredible and exciting.
Why was I always in a hurry to get done with the “easy” pose and move on the advanced ones? Why was I pushing my body into places that it wasn’t ready to go? The Ego. I think that in the fitness/yoga world it can be easy for the ego to want to compare, compete, and be the best. The Ego is a funny creature like that. The ego wants to believe that taking it slow is taking a step back in the practice. Or that if we don’t get into that posture, we must suck. The ego is the reason we even began to think it was a competition in the first place.
Do you know what I find funny about it all? The more I have slowed down and found patience in postures, my practice and my progress the more improvement I have seen. This is crucial. The more I am willing to wait, play around, listen, and slow down, the more my body and mind respond. The ego had actually been hindering my practice. Pushing, competing, and trying so hard to be great actually stunted my growth.
At a slower pace, we can really dig into each asana and movement. We can find incredible things. Wonderful things. Groundbreaking things. Like the reminder that yoga is about reaching enlightenment, not about a specific posture. I have learned that the basics are the basics for a reason. These postures allow our body time and space needed to open in preparation for other poses.
““Why is patience so important?” “Because it makes us pay attention.” ― Paulo Coelho
Patience in Life
Patience is incredible in all aspects of life, not only on the mat. In life we are constantly moving, rushing, and just busy. There is never enough time in any given day. So much so, that I know I have personally developed a crazy impatient personality.
I find it hysterical the things that make me so frustrated. The bus took a few minutes too long to pick me up, and I am frustrated. I will clean the dishes, but they are taking too long to clean. Pissed that I am doing them alone. I am hungry and the food is taking too long, HANGRY.
The other night, this observation hit me like a freight train. I was cooking and noticed how much I actually enjoy preparing my food. There was no rush and I was very much present in the moment. I enjoyed preparing the fresh produce and knowing that I was going to be well nourished. I also love grocery shopping, because again it feels good to get food that takes care of you. Then I realized, how much I rarely enjoy cooking. For the most part, I always rush through it or start when I am too hungry and inevitably find it frustrating.
Why hadn’t I been enjoying this? I was missing out on an activity I found tremendously relaxing and fulfilling. Impatience was an answer. The inability to wait was blinding me from my true self and frustrating me at the same time.The ego wants us to think that we magically need to have already arrived at the perfect place, moment, or thing.
My soul has arrived at a point along my journey where it is time to let go of the ego and focus on clear perception and truth. When I am antsy that things aren’t going at my pace or my way, I remember this. When the uncomfortable feeling takes over and I feel like something awful has happened, I remember this.
This awareness has allowed me to spend more time in this discomfort and discover so much about my soul. My soul usually isn’t bothered by anything. It just the ego. When I realize this, I pause and take a few breaths. Follow the breath and come back to my true present, regardless of any perception I have of the moment. I find that I am okay. Here, I find peace.
“It is very strange that the years teach us patience – that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.” ― Elizabeth Taylor, A Wreath of Roses
So next time you are feeling impatient, in life or practice, take a breath and recognize that feeling. Don’t judge, just recognize.
Then take a few mindful breaths and ask yourself “Why”. Slow down and spend a little time here. Do some personal inquiry in this space. Bring yourself back to the moment, to now. And usually, there is no reason to be in a rush or frustrated in the first place. In asana, take your time. Enjoy and be patient with the basic postures, so you can truly reap all their benefits. Find stability and ease in this space before you move to the next.
I encourage you to embrace and explore patience in your life and in Yoga and see how perspective and other things can change. It is time to say goodbye to the ego (and many other things- but we will get to that later) and hello to patience! A quick reminder that patience takes a lot of practice. Go easy on yourself if it takes time. My plan is to be here, patiently exploring, for a while. I hope you will join me!
Namaste,
Kahla
